


Bravery

by TiamatZX



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: F/M, Heroism Kiss, Mid-Battle Moment, Mid-Canon, Missing Scene, Post-Battle, Vaxleth - Freeform, big damn kiss, fic request, spoilers for episode 76
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-08-31 21:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8594533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiamatZX/pseuds/TiamatZX
Summary: In the midst of a terrifying situation, when things seemed darkest, she found hope, courage, and strength in the one she loved.My (hopefully canon) interpretations of what Keyleth's thoughts may have been during and after the battle with Ghurrix during Episode 76. And in case you’re wondering, yes, I’m disregarding Seeming being used because otherwise the Heroism Kiss would have been too squicky to write about. Such a tender moment, ruined by Scanlan’s antics. Then again, it’s to be expected of the bard to fuck with everyone; it’s his nature so I can’t really hate him for that.EDIT: Chapter 2 added!





	1. Drive

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OrdainedCrownie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrdainedCrownie/gifts).



> This was prompted for me by my good friend Emma (OrdainedCrownie). This was just written and finished not 10 minutes ago, I kid you not.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Reference for Keyleth's appearance in his fic: https://twitter.com/hyperoats/status/800949053097799680

Keyleth ran, trying to get as much distance between Ghurrix and herself, her head still pounding from getting slammed by the pit fiend’s fiery mace. She pressed a hand to her temple, feeling the blood pouring from the wound, thinking that at this point a concussion was the least of her worries. She was coming to realize that her spells weren’t working, that she couldn’t keep the fiend restrained, thinking that they were definitely in over their heads this time.

The pit fiend’s sheer presence was frightful as she ran, the fear threatening to overwhelm her. She managed to fight off her fear, still maintaining her distance. But even she could feel that things were beginning to feel hopeless. They hadn’t prepared enough or not at all for this situation. If her _Feeblemind_ spell had worked, if any of her spells had worked, the situation would’ve most likely gone differently.

She stood there in the middle of the alleyway, hopefully a safe distance from Ghurrix. The pain from her head wound was intense, and she could still smell the scent of burning hair– _her_  hair–as she managed to put out the flames. Her circlet was damaged, her antlers broken and charred, but she could still feel the magical enchantment, feeling relieved that the boon it gave her was still working. And yet, as she saw the pit fiend hovering overhead, despite fighting off the momentary fear, deep down she was terrified. Terrified that she was going to die here in the Plane of Fire.

It was a sensation that she hadn’t felt since Glintshore, when Kynan stabbed her in the back with Whisper. She could still feel the dagger wound in her back, the sensation of falling unconscious as her limp body hit the glassy terrain. She was terrified. Terrified at the thought that instead of her losing Vax, it was the other way around. It was a different kind of terror, the terror of losing him due to her  _own_  death. It was the same sensation that she felt now, here in the City of Brass as the fiend and his friend loomed over Vox Machina.

She could still see Scanlan’s mansion door behind her, and she knew she could make a break for it, but at the same time she couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ leave her friends, her family.

She couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ leave Percy. The gunslinger who had to constantly face the darkness within his soul. The gunslinger who was her best friend that she had just gotten back after dealing with Ripley and Orthax. The gunslinger whom, despite their differences as polar opposites of the morality spectrum, she loved so much.

She couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ leave Scanlan. The bard who was constantly the life of the party and managed to get them out of so many dire straits... except for the one that led to this moment. The bard who, due to having tried and failed to make the deal with Ghurrix, was in danger of being killed out here without a chance to see his daughter again. The bard who, despite his chauvinistic mannerisms in the past, had recently changed, instead taking value in his own survival and self-worth after learning that he now had someone to fight for.

She couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ leave Pike. The cleric who willingly came with them to such a dangerous place as this for the sake of grabbing the final Vestige because she didn’t want to fall behind the others. The cleric whom she grew close to despite her status and learned to put her trust and—gods forbid—her _faith_ in time and time again. The cleric who loved all of Vox Machina, the family that she would give her very life to protect.

She couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ leave Grog. The goliath who was never one to run away from a challenge, his boundless courage serving him well with every confrontation. The goliath who was a surprising source of wisdom for her, who had taught her to value the gift of patience when she was at her worst when dealing with Raishan. The goliath whom she loved like a brother and wasn’t always appreciated when he was willing to change himself for the better.

She couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ leave Vex. The ranger whom, despite their differences and arguments in the past, she put her trust in many times over. The ranger who loved her as much as she loved her own brother. The ranger who was willing to put her life on the line to protect her family.

And she couldn’t, _wouldn’t_ leave Vax. The rogue who was always by her side from the very beginning. The paladin who served death and yet still found life, his conviction being an inspiration for her. The man who stole her heart, who loved and respected her with all the affection he could muster.

Keyleth thought of all of them, her family, as she stood there frozen on the spot, unsure as to what to do at this particular moment. And for the first time ever as far as she could recall, she closed her eyes and prayed. She prayed to whomever might be listening that she would have the courage to see this through, that she would not abandon her family in this dire hour. And that’s when she heard the familiar sound of wings approaching her and the owner of said wings landing in front of her. She opened her eyes and there he was. The Champion of the Raven Queen. The man she loved, whom she allowed herself to love despite her fears.

_Vax? What are you doing?_

She opened her mouth to say something, but couldn’t get a single word out as Vax reached out to her, grabbed her by the face, and pulled her in for a kiss. A part of her thought that this was not the time or place for such affection, but in this dire situation, it kept her grounded. It made her feel brave, knowing that he was still here, that he was still alive. As he kissed her, she could feel a sudden surge of bravery course through her. She could feel the divine energy that came from Vax giving her a newfound feeling of courage as her fear left her, calming her down.

Vax broke the kiss, gave her a reassuring smile, and flew back into the fray. Keyleth stood there, dazed at the sudden kiss and subsequent feeling that coursed through her. She felt... good. She felt confident. She felt brave. She felt—as horrible as it sounded—like a hero. She looked up at Ghurrix’s massive form once more, but instead of cowering, she stood tall and proud. She was not going to die here. She still had things to do, things that only she could do. She was not about to disappoint her friends, her family. She was not about to fall apart now of all times.

Keyleth stood firm as she watched on, ready to aid at a moment’s notice. They had a Vestige to claim and a home to return to. It was time to see this battle through to the very end.


	2. Conviction

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the battle with Ghurrix before the party acquires the Plate of the Dawnmartyr.
> 
> This one was also prompted by OrdainedCrownie, but I decided to make this the second chapter instead of a separate fic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did take some liberties with this chapter, sadly. Namely, the possibility of Keyleth having an impromptu design change (which I still hope becomes canon because I think short-haired Kiki would be quite reminiscent of Korra’s hairstyle change late in the series) due to getting slammed by that fire mace (that poor circlet and hair of hers). And despite my huge dislike for canon-divergence, I included a conversation between Vax and Keyleth regarding dealing with Thordak eventually.
> 
> The reason why I say I’m not a fan of canon-divergence is because I like being accurate and true to established canon. But I'm also not sure about something because Elaina's death was mentioned in Episode 60: Heredity and Hats, but I'm not sure if it was ever explicitly mentioned to the rest of the party that Thordak killed her. So my memory is a little hazy in that regard. I do hope a conversation like that occurs before it's too late, though.
> 
> In either case, I do hope you enjoy this one as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Reference for Keyleth's appearance in this fic: https://twitter.com/hyperoats/status/800949053097799680

When the battle against Ghurrix ended, and everyone had finished celebrating their survival and very close call regarding the Illuminated, the party took their time to rest within the mansion before meeting with Juuraiel. The intense encounter with the pit fiend and his devilish ally had taken their toll on everyone earlier, Vex and Pike still feeling lingering pain from the fiend’s poisonous bites. They went about their business patching up their wounds, with Scanlan wisely dropping _Seeming_ due to there being no further point in the disguises as he and Grog continued to talk about the amazing feats that happened out there. The celestial twins were off in the kitchen having a small meal, Percy keeping an eye on them.

Keyleth in particular sat down on the couch within the main entrance hall of the mansion away from the others, tending to her wounds the best she could. Her head was still pounding badly, the blood flow from her head wound having stopped due to Pike’s earlier healing. She removed her circlet to inspect the damage on it. Sure enough, one of her antlers was still mostly intact, whereas the other was broken and charred due to that heavy slam.

_Well, it could’ve been worse. I could’ve had my head completely crushed to a pulp. At least then I wouldn’t have felt it if I had died._

Sighing, Keyleth placed the circlet on the table as she used druidcrafting to do what she could to repair it. She managed to mend the flowers on the circlet and the undamaged antler. The other could not be fixed. She scratched the back of her head in annoyance, sad that her beloved circlet was tarnished like this, and she noticed something. Or rather, **_not_** noticed something.

Finding a hand mirror nearby, she brought it up to face her and her eyes widened. There was still a streak of dried blood from the left side of her forehead, the same side as her damaged antler. She quickly grabbed a wet cloth and wiped away the blood. But what caught her eye was the state of her hair. It was still there, at least down to her shoulders, but beyond that was nothing but burnt ends. She reached her hand up and touched the frazzled ends, ash coming away between her fingertips. Ghurrix had set her fiery hair ablaze, and here she was with what was left, wild and flowing locks replaced with a mop of unruly strands.

_That motherfucker. I took very good care of my hair and now look what happened._

Keyleth felt disappointed. Granted, she should’ve seen it coming; she felt the flames licking the back of her head, the scent of burning hair filling her nostrils in the heat of the moment. She remembered patting the back of her head to put out the flames. And yet, this was all she could salvage; it would take a long time to grow back.

She stood up off the couch, sighing heavily. What a parting gift from the City of Brass in the Elemental Plane of Fire: an impromptu makeover courtesy of an ambassador from the Nine Hells.

_I'm going to need a nice, long bath after this is over. Preferably a cold one._

“Are you all right, Keek?”

A familiar voice from behind her. Keyleth turned around and saw Vax walking towards her. He was so good at sneaking up on her, it wasn’t even funny. And yet, she should’ve been able to see him coming from a mile away by now, having known him for so long.

“Oh, Vax,” Keyleth replied sheepishly. “Yeah, I’m all right. Well... mostly.”

Keyleth gestured towards her hair as Vax’s face became one of concern, the rogue eyeing what remained of her burnt locks as he realized what she meant by “mostly”. As she turned around again, leaning on the table, Vax closed the distance and ran his hand through her now-shorter hair, sighing a little.

“I know I should’ve been more careful. I guess this is my punishment for thinking I could handle Ghurrix,” Keyleth said with a sigh as she turned her gaze back to her circlet. It was quite a find that she had obtained back in the day, and the magic it contained gave her a great boon. And now, seeing it damaged made her feel a little depressed.

“That was so stupid of me,” she continued, shaking her head. “What was I even thinking, trying to cast that spell on him? I should’ve realized that he’d be making a beeline for me once I did that. And after having seen what he eventually did to Vex and Pike...”

Keyleth shuddered, thinking back to seeing her two close friends pulverized and crumpled on the ground, their life force slowly ebbing away as they lay on the ground within the alleyway at the pit fiend’s feet. She remembered seeing Vex fall short of reaching the mansion when Percy tried to drag her in only to fall yet again to Ghurrix’s attacks. Torn between saving Scanlan and Vex, hovering in the sky as an air elemental, she ultimately chose to dive in and get Vex into the mansion in time to neutralize the poison as Vax watched on. She recalled how frightened he was as he begged her to save his sister. If she hadn’t managed to get her to safety, Vex’ahlia may have died then.

“I know,” Vax replied. “Still, I’m so glad that we’re still alive. I just hope that armor will be worth all of this, because I’m starting to have my doubts.”

“You too?” she asked. “Because I have a very bad feeling that we may have wasted valuable time. I mean, we have no idea what is happening back home.”

“Still, I was scared,” Vax admitted as he leaned in and embraced her from behind, planting a kiss on her cheek and resting his chin on her shoulder. “I was so scared that I was going to lose you. I told you before, Kiki, that I was shaken when you fell last time. And when I saw that fiend go straight for you and you ended up getting wounded as you ran, I began to fear the worst. And the fact that I could see how shaken you were only made things worse.”

“Is that why you... kissed me out there? So that I wouldn’t be afraid?” she asked, feeling her face get warm.

“More or less. I knew I could’ve done more than that. I could’ve focused on simply fighting Ghurrix. But... all I could think of was making sure you lived. Do you remember our talk after making the alliance with Raishan?”

Keyleth growled, thinking back to that moment of meeting the dragon face to face, the latter under the disguise of Seeker Asum. “I do. Why?”

“Well,” Vax replied, “I told you that I wanted to make sure that your Aramente would happen. And I still do. All I could think of out there was making sure that you would live to lead your people. My own safety was secondary. That’s how much I love you.”

Keyleth smiled a little and finally glanced at Vax. “If I may be honest, Vax, I would’ve done the same for you. I mean, I love **_you_** that much. When you fell against Vorugal, I was terrified. I was so convinced that I was going to lose you when you dove in to try to save Pike.”

Her smile faded as she lowered her gaze. “And yet... whereas you dropped everything to ensure that I survived, I didn’t do the same for you because I realized that you were too fucking stubborn to die like that. That, and I was sure that the Raven Queen was looking out for you. So... that’s why I chose to keep fighting Vorugal. I wanted to ensure that he didn’t get away.”

A tear fell down Keyleth's face. “I’m sorry. I should’ve stayed by your side. I was more focused on the dragon than ensuring **_your_** survival. And... when I wanted to go after Raishan right away and you stopped me, I felt a little angry, as if you didn’t understand what I was going through.”

“I do, actually.”

Keyleth looked at Vax again. “You do?”

Vax nodded, and Keyleth could notice—through his embrace—his entire body shaking. “I never told anyone this. I always figured that it wasn’t necessary, but... considering that we may die against Thordak, I... I can’t keep it to myself anymore.”

Keyleth could then see a tear fall from his eye as he then said, “Do you recall when Allura found us in Greyskull, after Vorugal attacked us and we were fighting over the githyanki skull?”

Keyleth nodded. “How could I forget? We were at each others’ throats, fighting over something that could’ve made things infinitely worse. That and the fact that none of us were properly communicating. I still remember how angry I was.”

“Well,” Vax started to say but his voice caught in his throat, the words not coming out.

Keyleth broke the embrace and turned to face him, her ashy hands—a remnant of her crushing and using the Sparkstone so long ago—grasping his, and she could feel the intense shaking from them. “Vax... talk to me. What’s wrong?”

Vax shuddered. “One of the places that Allura mentioned that was destroyed by Thordak... was a humble village by the name of Byroden. And... Vex’ahlia and I were born there.”

That was all it took for Keyleth to cover her mouth with one of her hands, eyes widening in shock. It wasn’t difficult at all to guess what Vax was getting at.

“You’re talking about your mother’s death?”

Vax nodded. “Yes. I presume you recall the conversation we had with Syldor in the Feywild?”

Keyleth nodded back. “Of course I do. I... I do recall the three of you talking about your mother’s death. And... I do recall you speaking to the Raven Queen about wanting vengeance for her death. All of that... made me realize that you lost her to the Cinder King. But... did you know that it was Thordak from the start?

“No, not at first. Neither Vex nor I ever realized it at first,” Vax continued. “It was not until Allura told us the tale of her struggles in regards to sealing him away alongside Kima and Drake that we knew. We knew... that Thordak killed her.”

Vax let out a heavy, quivering sigh. “I... I promised Vex... that I would kill Thordak or die trying. I prayed to the Raven Queen that I wanted vengeance for our mother. And yet, despite that promise, despite that need for vengeance... I’m frightened, Keyleth. Even though I'm prepared to die, I’m frightened by the fact that in the end, I will end up leaving you and Vex all alone. And I... I...”

Vax went silent as he struggled to resist his need to cry. Keyleth thought back to Vax’s behavior while they were still in Emon after the Conclave attacked. She recalled the time when he outright resisted her attempts to stop him from following Vex because he didn’t want to leave his sister’s side and his desperate need for companionship when he came to her room on that fateful night when talks with the Clasp broke down. He was reliving a nightmare, the biggest nightmare he ever had up to that point. The living, breathing nightmare of his mother’s killer now having destroyed the twins’ new home. And there was nothing that he nor Vex could do about it at the time.

And now, with the battle against the Cinder King looming ever closer, despite his willingness to throw away his life to kill him, Vax was frightened. He was frightened of his impending death. Frightened of everyone else’s deaths. Frightened that he would not have a future. Keyleth knew all too well that she herself had her future decided for her, that she would eventually lose Vax due to eventually completing her Aramente. But when she chose to outright pursue him, to not be afraid of the future due to it not having been written yet, she wanted to take advantage of what time she did have with him. And for quite a while, she was happy and still is. But seeing Vax’ildan—brave, reckless, loving Vax’ildan— ** _terrified_** that they weren’t going to survive despite all they had accomplished really hit home the gravity of their situation. They all may not have a future at all, especially if they fail to stop Thordak and save all of Exandria.

Struggling not to cry herself, Keyleth pulled Vax into a tight embrace as the rogue finally stopped resisting, sobbing and crying into her shoulder as she tried to remain calm and strong for him. Much like how she needed him, he needed her. That was a truth that could not be denied. They were alike in so many ways, definitely to a fault, but in the end they still chose to pursue each other. And she was not about to have him—her pillar—crumble now of all times.

“Vax, listen to me. You remember when I expressed my fears about the future? And how I chose to love you despite those fears? Just the fact that I allowed myself to love you despite the uncertainty of the future says a lot. The future is not set in stone yet. Nothing has been decided, for you or for me, or even the rest of us. We have no idea what is to come in the coming days or even hours. But there is one thing I do know.”

“And what is that?” Vax asked.

She pulled back to stare him deeply in the eye and then she grabbed him by the face and touched foreheads with him, her demeanor surprisingly calm and collected. She knew that she was always emotional, but she was going to be the leader of her people regardless of her stance on it. If she was going to be a leader, she was damn well going to act like one.

Keyleth remembered from her father that to stand resolute in the face of loss and sadness was one of the pillars of leadership that he had taken to heart after having lost her mother. And that brought to mind the words he had said that ultimately encouraged her to walk the path she currently chose, a path where she could allow herself to love.

**_“The road before you, Keyleth, is hard and fraught with loss and sadness. To live is to struggle against the void, but it’s those moments of darkness that define the joy of the world around them. Learn from the loss, and push forward as a beacon of perseverance, of hope for life after pain.”_ **

Keyleth was in love with Vax for a long time. Perhaps longer than he was towards her, she couldn’t be sure of that. But still, when he gave his heart willingly, without asking for anything in return, when he gave her that choice, her heart longed for him but she kept holding back due to her fear. Nearly losing Vex in Purvan Suul’s tomb had driven a wedge between them for the longest time, the incident stoking her fear even more, but over time she told herself that she couldn’t be afraid forever; she had to overcome the darkness in order to find the joy she knew she was capable of feeling deep down. She had to take that chance. After all, what is life if not a gamble?

She and the rest of her companions gamble with fate on a constant basis. And more often than not, they always managed to pull through to live and fight another day. Sooner or later, their luck will run out. But before then, she wasn’t about to lose the strength she had received from the man within her embrace, the man she truly and deeply loved.

“What you did out there for me, that kept me from running away and feeling overwhelmed. You gave me bravery. You gave me courage. You... gave me strength, Vax’ildan. And now, I want to give you that strength, that bravery, and that courage. It’s too soon to say that we’re going to die. We survived what happened out there, be it through luck or the whims of the gods, and I know that even if not all of us survive the battle with the Cinder King, we will **_still_** win. Because there is no other option.”

She closed her eyes for a moment, and then opened them as she said to Vax with conviction, “Sometimes, bad things are going to happen, but we just have to do what we can. It’s not a hopeless situation yet. We can get through this, and even if we come out of this alive and people fear us for the powers that we wield or how we’ve left so much death and destruction in our wake... there is still a future for us. If even I could learn to forgive myself for everything I’ve done, then there’s still hope.”

Vax looked into her eyes for a while, and then he smiled. “You sounded like Ker for a moment there.”

Keyleth paused for a moment, and then smiled back as she glanced at her left hand, the ring that Kerrek forged for her still there. “Guy knew what he was talking about.”

She looked back at Vax. “I know now what he meant by passing through fire, which is why—should we get through this—I’m going to live my life the best I can. Even though I’ve destroyed so much, I can still fix things.”

She then closed the distance and gave Vax a kiss. Vax soon after eased into the kiss, seemingly feeling content. It was much different from the one that happened not too long ago, this one being more tender, gentle, and kind. Keyleth put every ounce of love she could muster into it, wanting to reassure Vax that despite what was happening around them, despite the bleak possibility that they could all die, they were still alive at this very moment, in the here and now.

Vax was ready to die for her and for Vex’ahlia, that much was certain. But he seemed to forget that Keyleth was more than capable of the same thing. She loved all of Vox Machina, some more than others, and she would willingly give up her life if need be to ensure their futures. Granted, she didn’t want to surrender any chance of a future with Vax, but if she had to, she would seriously consider it. They wanted each other to be happy, yes. But much like her future, her personal needs were secondary to those of her loved ones.

She then pulled away, saying, “Never forget what I just told you. Remember that I love you, for who you are and for being someone I can always rely on, and that we'll get through this. Together.”

Vax smiled, his demeanor becoming gentler as he brought his hand up behind her head to caress her shortened hair. “Thank you. By the way, this suits you. You should keep it like this.”

“Huh?” Keyleth tilted her head to the side, and then immediately she realized what he meant as her face turned red. “ ** _Oh!_** ”

Vax chuckled a little. “Same old Kiki. Never change.” He continued to caress the back of her head and said, “But seriously, this look does suit you. I love it.”

She smiled a little. “Thank you. Maybe I will stick with this.” And then as an afterthought she said, “I kinda needed a trim, anyway.”

Vax stared at her, dumbfounded for a moment before he found himself cracking up and going into a laughing fit. Soon after, Keyleth ended up laughing as well in spite of herself. They had nearly gotten killed by a pit fiend and nearly got jailed and enslaved yet again, never to return home. And yet, they were all smiles.

“Oi! You lovebirds done over there?! We’ve leaving!”

At Scanlan’s voice, Vax stifled his laughter as he looked at his invisibility ring. “W-We’d better get going.”

Keyleth nodded as she cast _Alter Self_ to turn into a fire genasi once more. “Yeah, we better. Let’s go get Pike that armor, shall we?”

Vax nodded back as they rejoined the rest of Vox Machina as well as their two celestial charges at the door to the mansion, Vax going invisible but not before giving Keyleth another peck on the cheek. Their time in the City of Brass was finally coming to an end, the druid thinking that they had spent enough time away from home and that they didn’t really need to return to Senokir. After all, he had a means of tracking them down.

As they left the mansion and walked back out onto the streets of the city, they headed to Juuraiel’s manor, intent on claiming the armor for Pike and finally bringing the battle to Thordak. Keyleth knew now that Vax and Vex had a personal stake in this, much like how she had a stake in regards to Raishan. To that end, she’d give the upcoming battle her all, and she would not cower. After all, they counted on her. Her friends and family, and the man she loved, who gave her courage when she needed it most.

They continued to head to the fire giant’s large residence, being careful not to catch the attention of intrigued slavers and not wanting to relive such a dangerous experience within the Elemental Plane of Fire.

They had enough of the slave life for one lifetime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I'm planning to send this to Marisha Ray, much like how I sent "Birds of a Feather" to her for Critmas. She actually received it during their recent Critmas Periscope on 11/21/2016.
> 
> In any case, Marisha, whether you find this in the mail or whether you're reading this online, I really, really hope you enjoyed it.
> 
> Sincerely, Adam Schwartze (@Tiamat_ZX on Twitter)
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. I definitely think Kiki looks more badass and adorable with short hair.

**Author's Note:**

> This was the first time I ever got to do such a thing: a fic prompt request. It may not happen all the time, but when it does happen, it's good.


End file.
